Alone Time For Yourself

The next segment of this series is on spending time with yourself.  In this hectic world and fast-paced society, it has become even harder to spend some alone time.  Jackie Kennedy Onassis taught her children well.  She taught them to spend some alone time by themselves in the morning. In my opinion, this is a huge step in your self discovery.  So, with that said, This week I urge you to spend one hour  with yourself. Find out what you like and who the real you is. Write out a contract to yourself that you will set aside at least one hour by yourself.  Some ideas are to spend sometime alone are go out in nature, walk the beach, go to a concert, an art show, go to an ethnic restaurant that you have always wanted to go to and try their food, and there are many other things to do.  Another idea is to do something that you have been wanting to do that you have been putting off.

The point of this exercise is to discover who you are, what you like, and to step outside of your comfort zone and remove the dullness in your life.  Remember, make a contract to yourself that you will spend one hour this week with yourself.  Do not make excuses and do not listen to the chatter in your head.

I have to say, this week, I did my assignment.  I walked on the beach and it felt so healing and I watched the waves go in and out. How soothing!

Crazy Making Behavior and How to Deal with it

I am getting ready to put my seminar together.  In one of the texts I will be using, there is a portion of a chapter dedicated to Crazy Making. This topic struck me, so I felt compelled to write this week’s blog on it.   Crazy Makers are people who are addicted to drama, are victims of what I term “the poor pitiful me syndrome.”  They take up your time and deplete your life force if you allow it.  They do not support you on your journey.   They make you feel less than.  They are controlling and abusive.  One example of crazy making can be is the person tells you to do it one way, you do it and then they you, you are wrong and to do it another way.   Simply put:  a head-game.  Do not fall for this trap.  These types of tactics make you question your sanity.  Don’t.  It is them, not you.  The main thing is to recognize the issue.  Write down who your crazy makers are and why.  The key is to recognize and then take the necessary actions.  Crazy Making can happen at home, at work, or in a relationship/friendship.  This type of behavior is counter productive.  In the business world this can severely decrease your productivity.  Loss of productivity = decreased revenue.  THINK ABOUT THIS FOLKS.

I will share with you that at one time in my life I experienced a workplace/crazy making atmosphere.  The management was playing head games, bullying and yelling at the staff.  I finally left.   You do not have to tolerate this.  If you can identify with these behaviors, seek assistance, speak to a therapist and/or clergy.  You have the right to leave and/or decrease contact from the Crazy Makers in your lives.

Life Balance

I heard a powerful sermon yesterday that was on life balance.  It really hit home for me.   My minister talked about the importance of having fun and doing things that are meaningful to you and try to avoid doing the obligatory things, as they do not come from the heart.   She also said to make some time for fun and for being with people who matter to you.

At this point of my life I am finally getting this concept.  Recently someone I grew up with passed away at a very young age. This experience taught me to live for today enjoy each day to its fullest.  It is so easy to get involved with work, and getting busy and boy, getting into the compulsivity of technology, such as, texting, having your cellphone conversation ad infinitum, surfing on the internet.  Sound familiar?   For goodness sakes, shut your cellphone off when you are with company, except if you are a doctor on call.   Enjoy your company, be present, spend sometime playing with your dog or cat.  Go out to the playground with your kids.

If you live close to the ocean, take sometime out and take a walk on the beach, clear your head, smell the fresh ocean air and watch God in motion.

If you live near the mountains, take a nice hike or just sit and be in the silence and listen to the birds chirp, the trees blow in the wind, the howl of the wolf.

If you live in the city, go to the park and sit on the bench or on the canal or riverbank and be still.  You can even journal if you like.  I get some of my best thoughts when I am outside.  Take sometime for you and see how much better you feel.

It is also important to surround yourself with positive people.  Avoid the naysayers.  For me, I would rather be alone than be with negative people.  Also, I only am with people who are good to me and good for me.  If they are not good for me, nor good to me, I have the right to decrease contact with them.

I want you all to think about this and report back to me how you are having fun and living your life to its fullest.  Write it on to your to do list a fun activity, even if it is once a week.  You will see a difference in your attitude and wellbeing.

Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. M. Scott Peck #Time Management

Breathe in Success!

Let us take a deep breath and breathe in peace, love and gratitude giving yourself permission to take a break from your hectic day. Then breathe out the stresses you are experiencing.

Take another deep breath and breathe in your accomplishments of the day and also, write them down.  Breathe out all tension.

Breathe in your successes and write those down.  Breathe in It is easy for me to be successful and breathe out I let go of the fear of success.  Breathe in I am comfortable with being successful and I release all fears.  Breathe in I am a success at whatever I do.

Just be still and go on with your day feeling free and clear knowing that you are a success.

This is Virtual June. Until next time, your assignment of the week is to write down all of your fears and share them with a person you can trust and then release.    I want to hear your results of your accomplishments and success. Have a successful week!

What is the Return on Investment? (ROI)

I was in a business meeting last week and we were discussing on how much an event was costing our group and what was the return on investment (ROI).  This discussion got me thinking that this Return On Investment (ROI) concept can also be applied in my personal and my professional life.  Let’s face it in the business world, we are always looking at what is the return on investment when we are purchasing equipment, building a website, a social media site, hosting events, increasing staff, and expanding our business.  I know there are a lot more scenarios, but I do not want to bog you down with the details. Simply put:  What is the bottom line?  Why not apply this to the people we surround ourselves with in our professional and personal lives.

What I mean is do we surround ourselves with positive and supportive people or are we with people who zap our energy with negativity – the what woes me – the victim, or the “Poor Pitiful Pearl” syndrome!  This is something that is necessary to look at and observe.  Next time you are with an associate or a friend, ask yourself does this person support me, is this person positive, do I feel good when I am in this person’s company?  This is very important because by being around positive and supportive people gives you that drive and motivation and want to produce more.  . The more you do, the more successful you will be.  Also, your emotional and physical health will improve.  By being in a negative environment you feel bad, you lose your spirit, and your successful feeling goes down.  Your health also suffers.

This week I invite you to look at this. It is your decision to take whatever action it is that you feel is necessary for you.  For me, I am looking at that.  My philosophy is I would rather be alone than be with negative people.  Don’t get me wrong, I am a firm believer in changing lemons into lemonade.  However, I refuse to be around the naysayers.  I prefer to be with the winners who are actively pursuing their desires, being successful, are supportive, having fun, and cheering me on!

REMEMBER: IT IS YOUR DECISION TO MAKE.

I will leave you with these several quotations to read and think about.

A great attitude does much more than turn on the lights in our worlds; it seems to magically connect us to all sorts of serendipitous opportunities that were somehow absent before the change.  Earl Nightingale

I know for sure what we dwell on is who we become.  Oprah Winfrey

A healthy attitude is contagious, don’t wait to catch it, be a carrier –Anonymous.

The Benefits of Social Media

Lately people have been asking me how Social Media can benefit their business.

Here is a short synopsis:

1) Social Media builds your online presence.  Each time you microblog/blog, a link is created and people will find you by searching with keywords.

2)  Increases traffic to your website.  When people read your blog, they read your information and visit your website.

2) Reaches a worldwide audience through blogging which builds awareness of your product which leads to people’s feedback.

3) Increases your credibility as an expert in your field.

4) Trust.   Over time, as you keep posting, people read your blogs/microblogs, and the trust is earned.

5) Visibility + Credibility + Trust = Business.

Simply put:  Social Media is online schmoozing –  It is like going to a networking meeting.  Being consistent, showing up, talking to people, inviting them to coffee.  This is how the trust process begin, but on a worldwide scale.

How to Overcome the Holiday Blues!

Lots of people feel blue during and after the holidays.  Here are eleven ideas to overcome them.

1. DeStress.  Relax.  Take a nice walk on the beach or in nature.  Look at the sky.
2. Hug your dog or cat. Go out and birdwatch.  Take your dog to the dog park to play with other dogs.
3. Go over your finances, even though it can be stressful; however you look at how you spent your money during the holidays, get on track and set some financial goals for 2010.
4. Reward yourself for doing something fun.  Also, investigate a new hobby that you have not done before and that is noncompetitive.
5. Reflect on the good things that transpired over the holidays.  For me, I attended a very nice Xmas party with the people I work with.  We all had a nice dinner and great fellowship.
6. Be with the blues, but do not cave into them. Take care of yourself.
7. Schedule some time to be with friends.  Meet for coffee, lunch, or dinner.
8. Put a smile on somebody’s face, open a door at a store for a total stranger, and/or reach out and call a friend you have not spoken with for awhile.
9. Go and see a funny movie and have a good laugh.
10. If you can, treat yourself to a nice bath, manicure, pedicure, a massage to detox.
11. And last, be of service.  Volunteer for your local animal, homeless, or women’s shelter, or for charitable organizations, such as Habitat for Humanity, National Wildlife Federation, World Wildlife Fund, Rachel Carson Homestead, American Heart Association, etc.

It is my hope that if you at least practice one of these suggestions, your world will definitely change.  On that note, I wish you all a Happy and Healthy New Year.

SETTING GOALS

For me, setting goals is about rolling up my sleeves, putting a pen in my hand and writing them down. That is how goals come to fruition.   They have to be realistic, clear and concise.  BE SPECIFIC. Goal is defined as the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end.1 Write out a start date and a finish date.   Watch how they unfold.   Categorize your goals and write them on a sheet of paper and place it in a visible place, such as your bulleting board in your office or on your refrigerator door.  I usually place 5 or 6 lines underneath each category.  Here are some examples of categories that you can use.

• Spiritual
• Relationships
• Business
• Travel
• Animals
  
• Fun
• Health
• Family
• Service

Notice the last one SERVICE.  That means, how are you going to be of service in your community, to your place of worship, and/or to the world.  Think about how you can contribute.  It is amazing how it gets you out of yourself.  This year one of my goals is:  I am going to volunteer at either a wildlife sanctuary or an animal shelter, as I love animals.  I am also going to create a blog and the theme of that is going to be on saving the animals and the environment, because once we take care of the animals, we can then heal the earth, and in turn, heal ourselves.  Doesn’t that sound like a plan? I just thought I would share that thought with you.

There are two quotes I will leave you with by Henry Ford that I find to be powerful:

A business absolutely devoted to service will have only one worry about profits. They will be embarrassingly large.
Henry Ford 2

Before everything else, getting ready is the secret of success.
Henry Ford 3

Towards that end, have a Healthy and Prosperous New Year.  I want to hear your thoughts about goals.  And, if you so desire, share them.

1 http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/goal

2 http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/h/henry_ford.html

3http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/h/henry_ford.html

Approach change as an adventure

Change is a phenomenon that often causes people to resist.  Why?  Because it is a step out to the unknown.  People get so involved into the how and the knowing of how the process will unfold.   Change is about stepping out of your comfort zone.  Look at change  as an opportunity for growth.   I know that there have been times in my life where I have had to step out of the box and try new things.  Initially I was full of fear.  After I took the action, I said to myself:  “That is all there is.   Had I known that, I would have done that years ago.”   FEAR gets in the way if you allow it.   If you fail, so what.  It took Thomas Edison 10,000 failures until finally he literally saw the light of his invention of the electric light bulb.

“Change your thoughts, change your life.”  Approach change as an adventure, when you hit a bump in the road, keep going and don’t give up.  PERSIST.

“When persistence brings us up to resistance and cessation of movement towards the goal we seek, FAITH then allows the mind to calm down and relax, and Patience can til the soils for the future manifestation of a beloved dream.”1

Procrastination can also be a factor in dealing with change.  Oh, I will do it when I have the money.  Oh, I will do it tomorrow.  Guess what, if you wait, you will never do it.  Make the decision, persist, and keep the faith.

Here are some tools for change:

• Make the decision

“One of Henry Ford’s most outstanding qualities is his habit of reaching decisions quickly and definitely, and changing them slowly. This quality is so pronounced in Mr. Ford, that it has given him the reputation of being obstinate. It was this quality which prompted Mr. Ford to continue to manufacture his famous Model “T” (the world’s ugliest car), when all of his advisers, and many of the purchasers of the car, were urging him to change it.” 2

• Create an action plan
• Stay Focused
• Surround yourself with supportive people.
• Find yourself an accountability partner, create a mastermind group, or hire a coach.
• When you get frustrated or full of fear, contact your support, and persist.  PERSISTENCE is the key to success.

Embrace change, seize it as an opportunity for growth.  Be with the resistance, but do not cave into it.  The key to change is faith and persistence.

I want to hear your thoughts on how you deal with change.

1 Hill, Napoleon “Think and Grow Rich” 1937

2  Hill, Napoleon “Think and Grow Rich” 1937